So I felt inspired by Jen's blog post about the TV shows she's excited for but won't have time to blog so I thought I would throw together my own list of shows I'm excited about for 2011. This list will include both new and returning shows.
V
Returns: 1/4/11 @ 9pm (ABC)
While V wasn't super strong last season, it was better at plot arcs and character development than FlashForward. And season 1 ended with a huge cliffhanger; an extremely emotional Anna unleashing something that turned the entire sky red. It can't be good and I'm guessing whatever the Visitors plans are will be jumping into gear from the get go of this season. I'm interested to see how the resistance, led by Erica handles having Ryan turning on them. Plus there is the intriguing Anna/Lisa dynamic now that Lisa is helping Fifth Column. And if that all wasn't enough to keep me wanting to see the new season, they resurrected Joshua at the end of last season, too. I liked his character so I'm happy he'll be around, even if he's getting tortured by Anna and her minions.
Merlin
Returns: 1/7/11 @ 10pm (SyFy)
If you’ve followed my rants about my computer at all, you’ll know it’s had some mishaps thanks to trying to watch Merlin series 3 online. So I stopped and am excited that it is coming to SyFy so soon. I can get my fix every week now! I know I’ve seen the first 10 episodes already but I want to rewatch them. This season has been really strong, even if they have moved Morgana’s storyline faster than I would have liked. I am enjoying how they are slowly laying more pieces to the Arthurian puzzle into place. I hope this will tide me over until we get series 4.
The Cape
Premieres: 1/9/11 @ 9pm (NBC)
So back when NBC was originally promoting this show, I wasn't sure it would be any good. The premise seemed a little hokey. But then I heard Summer Glau was involved and I realized I had to at least check it out. It turns out that her role is going to be very big in this show as she's the main character's side-kick of sorts. Plus she gets to be badass and beat people up. River Tam anyone? Then NBC started putting out the promos for the show and it looks really good. Not your typical superhero with no actual superpowers show. It looks dark and gritty and awesome. I may end up blogging it for More TV Please!. If that happens, I will cross-post all the recaps I do for anyone interested in reading.
White Collar
Returns: 1/18/11 @ 10pm (USA)
Okay, so technically right now White Collar isn't a returning show. It's just finishing up its summer 2010 season with 4 final episodes. But they are going to be great episodes. We find out who shot Mozzie (and why) plus who killed Kate. And the damn music box fiasco supposedly gets resolved. I just love Matt Bomer and his chemistry with Tim DeKay is just fantastic. It's a fun twist on the con show that I don't necessarily get with Leverage. So, it will be a welcome addition for a short while to my Tuesday line-up.
Fairly Legal
Premieres: 1/20/11 @ 10pm (USA)
I wasn't originally going to check this new USA legal dramedy out but then Is aw the promos and realized the lead was played by the lovely Sarah Shahi. I first discovered her on the NBC series "Life" where she played a recovering alcoholic detective partnered with a cop who had spent time in prison for being falsely convicted of murder. Then I saw her on "The L Word" which was a completely different role for her. A fun role but different. Now she's playing a lawyer who leaves the legal field in one sense and joins up in another. Fed up with the system she becomes a mediator. Having taken ADR this past semester, I want to see if they actually employ any of the mediation techniques we learned about in class. USA shows are usually pretty good at keeping things real to life but you never know. I did see a clip where a judge sent two parties to mediation and said something along the lines of "this is alternative dispute resolution, also known as mediation". It kind of irked me because generally the "aka" of alternative dispute resolution is ADR. But that could be me just getting nitpicky. We'll see how it fairs.
Body of Proof
Premieres: 3/29/11 @ 10pm (ABC)
I have been talking about this show for ages. And ABC has finally given a release date. So come the end of March, I will be blogging it each week. I will of course post the recaps when I send them over to More TV Please! for Jen to post. I can’t wait to have Jeri Ryan back on my screen every week. I’m rather indifferent to Dana Delaney, though I find her character’s back story interesting (at least what I’ve read of it). I hope the show works out. It’s a different twist on the forensic/crime drama shows out there. Plus, there’s Jeri Ryan. Did I already mention that? I can’t help it!
Doctor Who
Returns: March 2011 (BBC America)
If anyone remembers the blog post I did ages ago for More TV Please comparing the 9th, 10th and 11th Doctors, you know I’m not much of a fan of Matt Smith’s Doctor. Even after series 5, I’m still not thrilled with him. I find his portrayal to be immature and childish. I like my Doctor dark and angsty. But considering Stephen Moffat is now at the helm, I doubt if we’ll see the Doctor go dark any time soon. But there are good things to come in series 6. We get more River Song and some new bad guys. I even enjoyed the Christmas special this year (not as much as The Christmas Invasion but yeah…nothing beats David Tennant’s entrance). I will give series 6 a go and hope for the best.
Torchwood
Returns: Summer 2011 (Starz)
I am a diehard Jack/Ianto fan and am still slightly pissed with Russell T. Davies for killing Ianto. I still can’t watch Children of Earth. Thinking about it makes me sad and cry. I refuse to believe Jack’s encounter with Midshipman Frame (End of Time Part 2) was anything more than a one-night stand. And given that Jack’s rebound relationship once he returns to planet Earth is supposed to be a one-night stand, it’s not out of the realm of possibility. I’m disappointed that Jack has to have flings to get over Ianto. But I do want Jack and Gwen back on my TV screens o I will tolerate it. I want to know what gets Jack to come back to Earth and what kinds of mischief they get up to now.
Being Human
Returns sometime in 2011 (BBC America)
If you’ve been watching SyFy the last few weeks you’ve likely seen their ads for the US remake of Being Human. I urge you to purge those from your memory. Why mess with the original when its coming back to the US airwaves? Plus the SyFy version looks horribly stupid and lame. Though, funny point that they renamed the vampire from Mitchell to Aidan. Funny because Mitchell is played by an actor named Aidan Turner. Anyway, I’m excited for series 3 of Being Human because series 2 ended in a crazy place. Even if series 3 is the final for the series, it should be intense while George and Mitchell attempt to save Annie. Plus, they’re in Cardiff now. Who knows, maybe they’ll run into a rift in space and time? A girl can hope!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
2010 Round Up
Hey everyone. I know I've been kind of flakey on posting regularly the last few months but hopefully I'll be back in full force in 2011. I wanted to just run through some big points of 2010 and give a little of what to expect come January (aka tomorrow).
On the book front, 2010 saw EUTERPE'S SONG going on submission to publishers. It was seen by 9 houses. It also saw me and my agent part ways. 2010 was also the year I wrote 4 novels, approimately 250,000 words total. Very impressive. In the coming year, I will be revising PHARAOH'S LINK as well as writing at least 2 other young adult novels.
I officially finished 1/2 of law school. I'm still waiting on fall semester grades but I'm confident I did well. I also got to spend the summer interning for the EEOC which I found very fulfilling. I will be back with the EEOC this semester a few days a week. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again.
I know in my last post I promised a blog about back door pilots. Don't worry, I'll be posting it in the coming weeks. Hopefully even somtime next week.
Also on the blog front, I blogged the first season of BBC's Merlin as well as various episodes of Glee and No Ordinary Family for More TV, Please! this past year. Coming in March, I'll be a semi-permanent fixture there while I'm blogging the freshman season of ABC's Body of Proof, starring Jeri Ryan (of Star Trek: Voyager fame) and Dana Delaney.
What does 2011 have in store for me? The new seasons of Doctor Who, Torchwood, Being Human and Merlin. Yes I've upped my British TV intake of late. I recently finished Robin Hood (I would highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys BBC shows).
As I look forward to beginning 2011 in a few short hours, I have to wonder what my resolution will be. I could say I'll blog more but I'm not sure whether that is really productive. So I think, my 2011 blog resolution will be to post more things that are interesting and different.
On the book front, 2010 saw EUTERPE'S SONG going on submission to publishers. It was seen by 9 houses. It also saw me and my agent part ways. 2010 was also the year I wrote 4 novels, approimately 250,000 words total. Very impressive. In the coming year, I will be revising PHARAOH'S LINK as well as writing at least 2 other young adult novels.
I officially finished 1/2 of law school. I'm still waiting on fall semester grades but I'm confident I did well. I also got to spend the summer interning for the EEOC which I found very fulfilling. I will be back with the EEOC this semester a few days a week. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again.
I know in my last post I promised a blog about back door pilots. Don't worry, I'll be posting it in the coming weeks. Hopefully even somtime next week.
Also on the blog front, I blogged the first season of BBC's Merlin as well as various episodes of Glee and No Ordinary Family for More TV, Please! this past year. Coming in March, I'll be a semi-permanent fixture there while I'm blogging the freshman season of ABC's Body of Proof, starring Jeri Ryan (of Star Trek: Voyager fame) and Dana Delaney.
What does 2011 have in store for me? The new seasons of Doctor Who, Torchwood, Being Human and Merlin. Yes I've upped my British TV intake of late. I recently finished Robin Hood (I would highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys BBC shows).
As I look forward to beginning 2011 in a few short hours, I have to wonder what my resolution will be. I could say I'll blog more but I'm not sure whether that is really productive. So I think, my 2011 blog resolution will be to post more things that are interesting and different.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
A short update and things to come
Hi everyone. I just wanted to stop by the blog during finals to give a quick query report and what's coming up next on the blog. I've just got my Evidence exam left until I'm officially 1/2 done with law school. Kind of can't believe it. It feels good to be closing in though.
I have sent out 23 queries so far and received 12 rejections. Yes, for those of you doing the math, that's a 50% rejection rate. I'm not overly pleased myself. But I've got 11 queries still out there floating around and I'm going to let them do their thing until January. I'll pick up the process anew then.
I'm also gearing up, once finals are done, to do a blog post about the success of back door pilots. So look for that in the near future.
I have sent out 23 queries so far and received 12 rejections. Yes, for those of you doing the math, that's a 50% rejection rate. I'm not overly pleased myself. But I've got 11 queries still out there floating around and I'm going to let them do their thing until January. I'll pick up the process anew then.
I'm also gearing up, once finals are done, to do a blog post about the success of back door pilots. So look for that in the near future.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
News to Share
Hey everyone. Sorry I've disappeared again. Things have been very crazy the last couple of weeks. School has taken over my life as it tends to do when the semester is nearing a close.
I've also been working on this year's NaNo novel, titled THE DEITY TALISMANS, a sequel to PHARAOH'S LINK. I'm nearly halfway done with the first draft of the manuscript. I've been enjoying my NaNo '10 experience. Boston writers are just awesome. I'm looking forward especially do the 24-hour writing event next weekend. Roving writing will rock.
But on a more serious note, I've some important news to share. On November 3, my agent and I parted ways amicably. Things just weren't going the way I'd hoped and in the interest of my career, I chose to end our contract. EUTERPE'S SONG went out to many top publishers and I hope one day I can try again with the manuscript. But right now, I need to move forward with a different project.
So, starting to today I am back to sending out queries for PHARAOH'S LINK. I've sent out six queries so far and will keep you updated on the stats as I get responses.
I've also been working on this year's NaNo novel, titled THE DEITY TALISMANS, a sequel to PHARAOH'S LINK. I'm nearly halfway done with the first draft of the manuscript. I've been enjoying my NaNo '10 experience. Boston writers are just awesome. I'm looking forward especially do the 24-hour writing event next weekend. Roving writing will rock.
But on a more serious note, I've some important news to share. On November 3, my agent and I parted ways amicably. Things just weren't going the way I'd hoped and in the interest of my career, I chose to end our contract. EUTERPE'S SONG went out to many top publishers and I hope one day I can try again with the manuscript. But right now, I need to move forward with a different project.
So, starting to today I am back to sending out queries for PHARAOH'S LINK. I've sent out six queries so far and will keep you updated on the stats as I get responses.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Love's Bitch: Spike and the Women He Loved, Lost and Died For
So after the wonderfully Buffy-filled weekend I had with Jen at the Comic Con, I was inspired to write a post about Spike and the various relationships he has had with the women in his life (and unlife). It's not just because James Marsters is very attractive that I love Spike so much. I find his character arc from season 2 through season 7 (and a little bit into season 5 of Angel) fascinating. Even as an evil soulless bloodsucker, he had certain ideas about gender interaction that ultimately led to the point where he became a decent soul-having guy. So without further adieu, here we go! And special thanks to Jen for some awesome advice while writing this.
There are many women in Spike’s existence that inform his general relationships with the opposite sex. Perhaps the two to begin with are the Chinese Slayer (name not given) in 1900 and Nikki Wood, the Slayer in New York in 1977. Both of these women meet their demise at Spike’s hands but not before having a profound effect on how Spike sees the lineage of the Slayer. They shared a unique quality that attracted Spike to them; defiance. They were strong and powerful women in their respective times that challenged Spike to confront what he felt to be a perceived weakness in how he interacted with the opposite sex. In a way, by taking them out, Spike is able to take out his unexpressed feelings of scorn and disappointment towards women. By the end of the series, his perspective on the Slayer line has changed to a far more positive view.
In 1900, Spike, egged on by Angelus, confronts the unnamed Slayer in the hopes of showing his comrades that he is indeed badass. He’s intrigued by what she stands for: a woman, powerful and agile, sworn to destroy everything he is. In a way, her death defines who Spike sees himself as for nearly a century: the slayer of the Slayer (“Fool for Love”). This is what drives him in 1977 to seek out Nikki in New York and take her out. But, unlike in 1900, he taunts Nikki, draws her out. They meet first in a park one rainy night (“Lies My Parents Told Me”) and he says he’ll be seeing her again. He’s excited to discover she’s the one he’s after and he takes pleasure in ending her life (“Fool for Love”). Both of these women will ultimately lead him to Sunnydale to seek out one Buffy Summers whom he has loved, lost and ultimately died for.
Loved
There are many women in Spike’s life that he’s loved; his mother, Cecily, Drusilla and perhaps most importantly, Buffy. Each of these women has molded him into the man we see by the end of Buffy season 7.
Until season 7, little is known about Spike’s family before he was sired. The events of “Fool for Love” seem to conveniently leave out any mention of his mother. It’s only in the season 7 episodes “Lies My Parents Told Me” that we finally meet the first woman he loved. His mother is an ailing woman whom Spike (or more accurately William) adores. He cares deeply for her, both on a physical and emotional level. While it’s not outwardly shown, I think Spike fears being with any other woman because he doesn’t want to lose the sole companion he’s had his whole life. She lavishes him with affection, even though his poetry is drivel. She understands that her son needs her to support him if he is to have any sort of successful relationship with a woman besides herself. In hindsight, it may have been ill-placed motherly affection, given how William met his demise. Still, she shows him what love can look like, at least in a parent-child scenario.
We meet Cecily, a high brow British aristocrat, in “Fool for Love”. She’s the first woman William had romantic feelings towards. Interestingly, she is the reason William becomes Spike. She is what love shouldn’t look like. His advances (as well-intentioned as they may be) are spurned when she realizes the poetry he’s written is always about her. She can’t love him because he’s beneath her (something Buffy says to Spike at the end of “Fool for Love”). William was a bit of a dandy and pushover but at his core; he was and remained very dedicated to the notion of romance. It was that little bit of humanity that couldn’t be squashed by the demon inside that propelled him into the other relationships in his unlife.
Drusilla is the woman that Spike latches on to at a very dark time in his life. He’s just been rejected by Cecily and he happens upon Drusilla, a strange woman who seems to understand him. Her allure is enough to keep him from questioning when she sires him. Thus begins their 120+ year love affair. And honestly, since Spike had his heart broken just before he met Drusilla, it’s a really long rebound relationship. Perhaps that’s why in the end they don’t work out. Spike devotes himself entirely to Drusilla, claiming she is his destiny and they’re meant to be together forever (“Destiny”). At first glance, it would appear that Drusilla’s insanity would keep her from returning his affections. However, in her own special way, she understands and reciprocates the affection he was never able to obtain from Cecily. For a long time she is his world, pillaging and destroying life wherever they went. He loved her for so long and he only ever loved her. It says something profound about the part of William that survived that he would be so monogamous in a relationship. Never did you see Spike cheating on the woman he had feelings for. But everything changed the day he first saw Buffy.
In the progression of Spike’s loves, Buffy is the most instrumental. Without her, he would not have become a better man and regained the part of him that made him such a good person in life: his soul. While some would argue it wasn’t love at first sight, I would say that from the moment Spike saw Buffy dancing in the club (“School Hard”), he knew there was something more to her. She wasn’t just another Slayer to kill and put a notch in his belt. Even while he was having his troubles with Drusilla, he was drawn back to Sunnydale and to Buffy to seek help and comfort. It wasn’t until season 4 and the Initiative showed up and shoved a chip in Spike’s brain to keep him from harming people that things really started to take shape. For a long time Buffy let Spike hang around because he was neutered and couldn’t hurt her or her friends. She didn’t realize, and perhaps neither did Spike, that allowing him to spend time around her influenced him in a positive way. He was able to fight demons (get the thrill of the kill) (“Doomed”), and by season 5 Buffy began to rely on Spike for information. It wasn’t until he really started to think about her (hallucinate and dream about having sex with her) that he realized just how deeply he loved her. Drusilla and Spike’s love affair may have been dark but it was a light shade of gray in comparison to Buffy and Spike’s love. Buffy allowed herself to give in to her darker urges and be with Spike in season 6, so the pain and violence associated with their sexual relationship wasn’t just on Spike’s end. Still, Spike’s previous relationship which revolved around equating sex and violence informed his relationship with Buffy to the detriment of the relationship. They were so wrapped up in using each other to satisfy their own desires, neither stopped to consider whether they could have had a strong, positive relationship while Spike still lacked a soul. His love for Buffy ran so deep that he changed who he was to have a chance at being with her and earning her love the right way; without the violence and self-loathing.
Lost
Inevitably, given the fact that he’s lived so long, Spike lost all of the women he loved in one way or another. He also had some platonic relationships that I believe he lost in some way as well throughout the course of his development on Buffy.
Of all the women Spike lost throughout his existence, I find his mother to be particularly tragic. In an attempt to extend his love for her, he sires her (“Lies My Parents Told Me”). What he wasn’t counting on was the demon that took up residence in her body. As he explained to Robin near the end of the episode, she said some nasty things to him in the end that tore him up. But he now realizes that it wasn’t really her. Still, knowing that he was the sole reason for losing his mother ate at him for over a century. She was the first casualty of his love.
William lost Cecily probably even before he had her. He pined for her from afar through his poetry and she rejected him the moment she realized that his poetry was about her. As I said before, it was this loss in his life that lead to William becoming Spike and starting down a rather dark and destructive path of love. They would cross paths one last time before the end of Buffy once Cecily had become a vengeance demon (“Older and Far Away”). It provides an awkward little moment that makes you giggle and gives some closure to that almost-relationship.
It’s rather unfortunate that every romantic relationship Spike enters into ends with the woman leaving him. First, Cecily rejects him for being too low status and then Drusilla abandons him in Brazil for a Chaos demon (“Lover’s Walk”) because his head is too full of the Slayer. This is only the first time Spike loses Drusilla. After the events of “Lover’s Walk”, he goes off to try and reunite with her. It’s unsuccessful again because the third time he returns to Sunnydale he’s got Harmony attached at the hip (a convenient shag if nothing else). Even as Spike moves towards loving Buffy entirely, he’s more than willing to fall back into Drusilla’s arms when she returns (“Crush”). He allows her to make him think he can beat the chip the Initiative put in his head and take out Buffy. Ultimately he loses Drusilla for the last time when he says he’ll kill her to prove his love to Buffy. Dru may be a crazy nut job but she could see that she’d lost Spike’s heart long ago. While I prefer Buffy to Drusilla, I think Spike losing Drusilla was an important step in his evolution to the man we see at the end of the series. It gave him the freedom to pursue Buffy without feeling as though he were betraying Drusilla.
While his mother’s death was certainly tragic, Spike’s heart broke too many times with his love for Buffy. First, he failed to keep her from death’s door in “The Gift”. We see him literally broken and bleeding watching as Buffy’s body lies lifeless on the ground. He sobs openly at his loss as the sun comes up, ignoring the fact that he could burn to ash any second. The best part of his life has been wrenched away and there is absolutely nothing he could do to change it. You would think he’d be happy when Willow, Xander, Tara and Anya resurrect Buffy in “Bargaining Parts 1 and 2”. He’s miserable. He knows that if the spell had gone wrong, and any part of whatever came back was Buffy; he wouldn’t let them get rid of it. He would be willing to fight the people she cares the most about to protect her. He loses her again by the end of season 6. An old love of Buffy’s returns and in the end, she breaks up with Spike. She can’t be with him anymore because it’s killing her (“As You Were”). She hadn’t been truthful with her friends about their relationship and now she realizes that she can’t be happy if she’s with him. She doesn’t want the violence in her life anymore. But that’s not the worst of it. In his grief, Spike makes the worst decision he can, an attempted rape (“Seeing Red”). He knows it’s wrong but violence is the only thing he’s ever equated with intimacy. It is these two losses that drive him to change and seek out his soul. Losing Buffy sends him on the path to redemption.
One of the more tragic relationships Spike had during his time on Buffy was with Joyce. Their first real meeting (excluding “School Hard”) in “Becoming Part 1” was hilarious and you could see how Spike wanted to impress Joyce. Even after Drusilla dumped him, he ends up sitting at the kitchen table in the Summers house being consoled by Joyce. He may have found a love (however twisted) in Drusilla but he’d desperately been seeking a mother figure ever since he killed his own mother. He found it briefly in Joyce. Especially in season 5 (“Crush”), she enjoyed his presence, let him into her home. He was devastated when she died. Not being allowed to pay his respects (“Forever”) really cut deep into him. Spike needed to grieve the loss of another mother figure in his life, and even though this time it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible. He even helps Dawn try to resurrect Joyce (“Forever”) in an effort to reconnect the second mother he lost.
Spike’s interactions with Willow, especially in seasons 3 and 4, show the first real platonic relationship he’s had with a woman. Certainly, he kidnapped Willow (“Lover’s Walk”) with the intention of killing her, but she turned out to be a great listener. Even in her fear, she managed to console him a little, and he latched onto that feeling. He sought comfort from her again (“The Initiative”) when he escaped from the Initiative. He knew he couldn’t go to Buffy. She’d just stake him, but Willow would be a more willing listener (even if he did try to eat her again). I think Spike’s tendency to attack the one woman he didn’t have feelings for speaks to the fact that he never had a model on which to base such a relationship. Perhaps it was the time in which he lived that had an effect on his ability to form a meaningful platonic relationship, but he ends up losing Willow as well. It may have been Spike’s attempt to break apart the gang that drove him and Willow apart or the simple fact that by that point in time they were both wrapped up in their own problems, but she was yet another woman he lost.
Dawn’s loss came slowly over the final three seasons of Buffy. In season 5, it was obvious she had a crush on him (“Crush”). She wanted to hang out with him because he was dangerous and had a cool coat and hair. Spike, having some sense of right and wrong (and probably because of his love for Buffy), never returned her affections. He looked out for her and tried to do what he could to keep her safe (“Blood Ties”, “Bargaining Parts 1 and 2”). He even swore to protect her until he died so as to stop Glory (“The Gift”). In season 6 he takes on more of a big brother/little sister relationship even as he moves into a sexual relationship with Buffy. But by the end of season 6 and beginning of season 7 he’s lost Dawn through his actions (“Seeing Red”, “Grave” and “Beneath You”). One might think this isn’t that big a loss for Spike, but it really is. In a way he counted on having Dawn on his side. If Buffy were to trust him, he’d need Dawn’s support. Losing her pushed him farther from Buffy in season 7 to the point where he paid the ultimate price; death.
Died For
Most importantly in Spike’s evolution is the fact that in the end, he sacrificed himself to save the world and make it a better place for the women with whom he’s shared the last 130 years. He couldn’t have done that if he hadn’t loved and lost all of these important female figures.
The scene at the end of “Chosen” where Buffy finally tells Spike she loves him always makes me cry. They’ve come to a place in their relationship where they are both able to acknowledge their deep feelings for one another, even if there is nothing sexual about that relationship. Buffy begs Spike to stop, but he can’t. He needs to finish what he started and that means giving up his life so Buffy can enjoy hers. It is a powerful scene because even though Spike tells Buffy she doesn’t mean it when she says she loves him, he is expressing the fact that he will always love her. His love for her edged him closer to taking the final step to becoming a better person. Losing her pushed him over the last hurdle to his soul. But getting her back in the very end is what built him up to be a better man, one willing to give so much of himself and asking nothing in return. Buffy believed he could change and it was this belief that refueled their love after so much darkness and destruction. In his rebirth of having a soul, she showed him what it meant to have a real love. Much like his mother showed him the true nature of love between parent and child, Buffy showed him what a real love between two people could look like. She gave him the hope that even as he gave up his existence, he would be capable of loving, respecting his partner. Perhaps the strongest example of this came in “Touched” when he confessed that he didn’t love her because he couldn’t have her but because of what she stood for to him. She was strength and power and beauty. All the good things about life. It was this acknowledgement on his part that gave him the strength to die for Buffy.
Certainly Willow and Spike grew apart after season 4 but it doesn’t mean she wasn’t still affected by his sacrifice. At the end of season 2, Angelus wanted to both awaken the demon Acathla to destroy the world and kill Buffy. Spike remarks that Angelus will get both things because Buffy is in the world. To me, there is a similar principle at work in Spike’s death in “Chosen”. Simply by being in the world, Spike burning in the hellmouth saved Willow’s life and thus he died for her. It was really a combination of Willow magic and Spike’s soul that kept the First from winning and I think that makes his death touch her life in a special way.
Similarly to Willow, Spike died for Dawn because she was in the world. I think, however, that her situation was a little different. The key difference is that Dawn is a part of Buffy, a part she was willing to sacrifice herself for (“The Gift”). By saving Dawn’s life, Spike is in a way saving Buffy twice (perhaps once for each time he lost her). He is giving Buffy the ultimate gift of life, both for herself and for those she cares about.
As any “Buffy” fan knows, Spike didn’t stay dead long. He returned in the final season of Angel. I find it interesting that once Spike regained corporeal form, he didn’t rush off to be with the woman he’s given so much of himself to. Instead he stayed in Los Angeles and fought side by side with the guy he spent a good deal of his past hating (Angel made him a monster) (“Destiny”) to continue saving the world. I’d like to think that Buffy and Spike have a future together some day. But he needs to save the world a few more times before he’s ready to try another shot at love.
There are many women in Spike’s existence that inform his general relationships with the opposite sex. Perhaps the two to begin with are the Chinese Slayer (name not given) in 1900 and Nikki Wood, the Slayer in New York in 1977. Both of these women meet their demise at Spike’s hands but not before having a profound effect on how Spike sees the lineage of the Slayer. They shared a unique quality that attracted Spike to them; defiance. They were strong and powerful women in their respective times that challenged Spike to confront what he felt to be a perceived weakness in how he interacted with the opposite sex. In a way, by taking them out, Spike is able to take out his unexpressed feelings of scorn and disappointment towards women. By the end of the series, his perspective on the Slayer line has changed to a far more positive view.
In 1900, Spike, egged on by Angelus, confronts the unnamed Slayer in the hopes of showing his comrades that he is indeed badass. He’s intrigued by what she stands for: a woman, powerful and agile, sworn to destroy everything he is. In a way, her death defines who Spike sees himself as for nearly a century: the slayer of the Slayer (“Fool for Love”). This is what drives him in 1977 to seek out Nikki in New York and take her out. But, unlike in 1900, he taunts Nikki, draws her out. They meet first in a park one rainy night (“Lies My Parents Told Me”) and he says he’ll be seeing her again. He’s excited to discover she’s the one he’s after and he takes pleasure in ending her life (“Fool for Love”). Both of these women will ultimately lead him to Sunnydale to seek out one Buffy Summers whom he has loved, lost and ultimately died for.
Loved
There are many women in Spike’s life that he’s loved; his mother, Cecily, Drusilla and perhaps most importantly, Buffy. Each of these women has molded him into the man we see by the end of Buffy season 7.
Until season 7, little is known about Spike’s family before he was sired. The events of “Fool for Love” seem to conveniently leave out any mention of his mother. It’s only in the season 7 episodes “Lies My Parents Told Me” that we finally meet the first woman he loved. His mother is an ailing woman whom Spike (or more accurately William) adores. He cares deeply for her, both on a physical and emotional level. While it’s not outwardly shown, I think Spike fears being with any other woman because he doesn’t want to lose the sole companion he’s had his whole life. She lavishes him with affection, even though his poetry is drivel. She understands that her son needs her to support him if he is to have any sort of successful relationship with a woman besides herself. In hindsight, it may have been ill-placed motherly affection, given how William met his demise. Still, she shows him what love can look like, at least in a parent-child scenario.
We meet Cecily, a high brow British aristocrat, in “Fool for Love”. She’s the first woman William had romantic feelings towards. Interestingly, she is the reason William becomes Spike. She is what love shouldn’t look like. His advances (as well-intentioned as they may be) are spurned when she realizes the poetry he’s written is always about her. She can’t love him because he’s beneath her (something Buffy says to Spike at the end of “Fool for Love”). William was a bit of a dandy and pushover but at his core; he was and remained very dedicated to the notion of romance. It was that little bit of humanity that couldn’t be squashed by the demon inside that propelled him into the other relationships in his unlife.
Drusilla is the woman that Spike latches on to at a very dark time in his life. He’s just been rejected by Cecily and he happens upon Drusilla, a strange woman who seems to understand him. Her allure is enough to keep him from questioning when she sires him. Thus begins their 120+ year love affair. And honestly, since Spike had his heart broken just before he met Drusilla, it’s a really long rebound relationship. Perhaps that’s why in the end they don’t work out. Spike devotes himself entirely to Drusilla, claiming she is his destiny and they’re meant to be together forever (“Destiny”). At first glance, it would appear that Drusilla’s insanity would keep her from returning his affections. However, in her own special way, she understands and reciprocates the affection he was never able to obtain from Cecily. For a long time she is his world, pillaging and destroying life wherever they went. He loved her for so long and he only ever loved her. It says something profound about the part of William that survived that he would be so monogamous in a relationship. Never did you see Spike cheating on the woman he had feelings for. But everything changed the day he first saw Buffy.
In the progression of Spike’s loves, Buffy is the most instrumental. Without her, he would not have become a better man and regained the part of him that made him such a good person in life: his soul. While some would argue it wasn’t love at first sight, I would say that from the moment Spike saw Buffy dancing in the club (“School Hard”), he knew there was something more to her. She wasn’t just another Slayer to kill and put a notch in his belt. Even while he was having his troubles with Drusilla, he was drawn back to Sunnydale and to Buffy to seek help and comfort. It wasn’t until season 4 and the Initiative showed up and shoved a chip in Spike’s brain to keep him from harming people that things really started to take shape. For a long time Buffy let Spike hang around because he was neutered and couldn’t hurt her or her friends. She didn’t realize, and perhaps neither did Spike, that allowing him to spend time around her influenced him in a positive way. He was able to fight demons (get the thrill of the kill) (“Doomed”), and by season 5 Buffy began to rely on Spike for information. It wasn’t until he really started to think about her (hallucinate and dream about having sex with her) that he realized just how deeply he loved her. Drusilla and Spike’s love affair may have been dark but it was a light shade of gray in comparison to Buffy and Spike’s love. Buffy allowed herself to give in to her darker urges and be with Spike in season 6, so the pain and violence associated with their sexual relationship wasn’t just on Spike’s end. Still, Spike’s previous relationship which revolved around equating sex and violence informed his relationship with Buffy to the detriment of the relationship. They were so wrapped up in using each other to satisfy their own desires, neither stopped to consider whether they could have had a strong, positive relationship while Spike still lacked a soul. His love for Buffy ran so deep that he changed who he was to have a chance at being with her and earning her love the right way; without the violence and self-loathing.
Lost
Inevitably, given the fact that he’s lived so long, Spike lost all of the women he loved in one way or another. He also had some platonic relationships that I believe he lost in some way as well throughout the course of his development on Buffy.
Of all the women Spike lost throughout his existence, I find his mother to be particularly tragic. In an attempt to extend his love for her, he sires her (“Lies My Parents Told Me”). What he wasn’t counting on was the demon that took up residence in her body. As he explained to Robin near the end of the episode, she said some nasty things to him in the end that tore him up. But he now realizes that it wasn’t really her. Still, knowing that he was the sole reason for losing his mother ate at him for over a century. She was the first casualty of his love.
William lost Cecily probably even before he had her. He pined for her from afar through his poetry and she rejected him the moment she realized that his poetry was about her. As I said before, it was this loss in his life that lead to William becoming Spike and starting down a rather dark and destructive path of love. They would cross paths one last time before the end of Buffy once Cecily had become a vengeance demon (“Older and Far Away”). It provides an awkward little moment that makes you giggle and gives some closure to that almost-relationship.
It’s rather unfortunate that every romantic relationship Spike enters into ends with the woman leaving him. First, Cecily rejects him for being too low status and then Drusilla abandons him in Brazil for a Chaos demon (“Lover’s Walk”) because his head is too full of the Slayer. This is only the first time Spike loses Drusilla. After the events of “Lover’s Walk”, he goes off to try and reunite with her. It’s unsuccessful again because the third time he returns to Sunnydale he’s got Harmony attached at the hip (a convenient shag if nothing else). Even as Spike moves towards loving Buffy entirely, he’s more than willing to fall back into Drusilla’s arms when she returns (“Crush”). He allows her to make him think he can beat the chip the Initiative put in his head and take out Buffy. Ultimately he loses Drusilla for the last time when he says he’ll kill her to prove his love to Buffy. Dru may be a crazy nut job but she could see that she’d lost Spike’s heart long ago. While I prefer Buffy to Drusilla, I think Spike losing Drusilla was an important step in his evolution to the man we see at the end of the series. It gave him the freedom to pursue Buffy without feeling as though he were betraying Drusilla.
While his mother’s death was certainly tragic, Spike’s heart broke too many times with his love for Buffy. First, he failed to keep her from death’s door in “The Gift”. We see him literally broken and bleeding watching as Buffy’s body lies lifeless on the ground. He sobs openly at his loss as the sun comes up, ignoring the fact that he could burn to ash any second. The best part of his life has been wrenched away and there is absolutely nothing he could do to change it. You would think he’d be happy when Willow, Xander, Tara and Anya resurrect Buffy in “Bargaining Parts 1 and 2”. He’s miserable. He knows that if the spell had gone wrong, and any part of whatever came back was Buffy; he wouldn’t let them get rid of it. He would be willing to fight the people she cares the most about to protect her. He loses her again by the end of season 6. An old love of Buffy’s returns and in the end, she breaks up with Spike. She can’t be with him anymore because it’s killing her (“As You Were”). She hadn’t been truthful with her friends about their relationship and now she realizes that she can’t be happy if she’s with him. She doesn’t want the violence in her life anymore. But that’s not the worst of it. In his grief, Spike makes the worst decision he can, an attempted rape (“Seeing Red”). He knows it’s wrong but violence is the only thing he’s ever equated with intimacy. It is these two losses that drive him to change and seek out his soul. Losing Buffy sends him on the path to redemption.
One of the more tragic relationships Spike had during his time on Buffy was with Joyce. Their first real meeting (excluding “School Hard”) in “Becoming Part 1” was hilarious and you could see how Spike wanted to impress Joyce. Even after Drusilla dumped him, he ends up sitting at the kitchen table in the Summers house being consoled by Joyce. He may have found a love (however twisted) in Drusilla but he’d desperately been seeking a mother figure ever since he killed his own mother. He found it briefly in Joyce. Especially in season 5 (“Crush”), she enjoyed his presence, let him into her home. He was devastated when she died. Not being allowed to pay his respects (“Forever”) really cut deep into him. Spike needed to grieve the loss of another mother figure in his life, and even though this time it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat responsible. He even helps Dawn try to resurrect Joyce (“Forever”) in an effort to reconnect the second mother he lost.
Spike’s interactions with Willow, especially in seasons 3 and 4, show the first real platonic relationship he’s had with a woman. Certainly, he kidnapped Willow (“Lover’s Walk”) with the intention of killing her, but she turned out to be a great listener. Even in her fear, she managed to console him a little, and he latched onto that feeling. He sought comfort from her again (“The Initiative”) when he escaped from the Initiative. He knew he couldn’t go to Buffy. She’d just stake him, but Willow would be a more willing listener (even if he did try to eat her again). I think Spike’s tendency to attack the one woman he didn’t have feelings for speaks to the fact that he never had a model on which to base such a relationship. Perhaps it was the time in which he lived that had an effect on his ability to form a meaningful platonic relationship, but he ends up losing Willow as well. It may have been Spike’s attempt to break apart the gang that drove him and Willow apart or the simple fact that by that point in time they were both wrapped up in their own problems, but she was yet another woman he lost.
Dawn’s loss came slowly over the final three seasons of Buffy. In season 5, it was obvious she had a crush on him (“Crush”). She wanted to hang out with him because he was dangerous and had a cool coat and hair. Spike, having some sense of right and wrong (and probably because of his love for Buffy), never returned her affections. He looked out for her and tried to do what he could to keep her safe (“Blood Ties”, “Bargaining Parts 1 and 2”). He even swore to protect her until he died so as to stop Glory (“The Gift”). In season 6 he takes on more of a big brother/little sister relationship even as he moves into a sexual relationship with Buffy. But by the end of season 6 and beginning of season 7 he’s lost Dawn through his actions (“Seeing Red”, “Grave” and “Beneath You”). One might think this isn’t that big a loss for Spike, but it really is. In a way he counted on having Dawn on his side. If Buffy were to trust him, he’d need Dawn’s support. Losing her pushed him farther from Buffy in season 7 to the point where he paid the ultimate price; death.
Died For
Most importantly in Spike’s evolution is the fact that in the end, he sacrificed himself to save the world and make it a better place for the women with whom he’s shared the last 130 years. He couldn’t have done that if he hadn’t loved and lost all of these important female figures.
The scene at the end of “Chosen” where Buffy finally tells Spike she loves him always makes me cry. They’ve come to a place in their relationship where they are both able to acknowledge their deep feelings for one another, even if there is nothing sexual about that relationship. Buffy begs Spike to stop, but he can’t. He needs to finish what he started and that means giving up his life so Buffy can enjoy hers. It is a powerful scene because even though Spike tells Buffy she doesn’t mean it when she says she loves him, he is expressing the fact that he will always love her. His love for her edged him closer to taking the final step to becoming a better person. Losing her pushed him over the last hurdle to his soul. But getting her back in the very end is what built him up to be a better man, one willing to give so much of himself and asking nothing in return. Buffy believed he could change and it was this belief that refueled their love after so much darkness and destruction. In his rebirth of having a soul, she showed him what it meant to have a real love. Much like his mother showed him the true nature of love between parent and child, Buffy showed him what a real love between two people could look like. She gave him the hope that even as he gave up his existence, he would be capable of loving, respecting his partner. Perhaps the strongest example of this came in “Touched” when he confessed that he didn’t love her because he couldn’t have her but because of what she stood for to him. She was strength and power and beauty. All the good things about life. It was this acknowledgement on his part that gave him the strength to die for Buffy.
Certainly Willow and Spike grew apart after season 4 but it doesn’t mean she wasn’t still affected by his sacrifice. At the end of season 2, Angelus wanted to both awaken the demon Acathla to destroy the world and kill Buffy. Spike remarks that Angelus will get both things because Buffy is in the world. To me, there is a similar principle at work in Spike’s death in “Chosen”. Simply by being in the world, Spike burning in the hellmouth saved Willow’s life and thus he died for her. It was really a combination of Willow magic and Spike’s soul that kept the First from winning and I think that makes his death touch her life in a special way.
Similarly to Willow, Spike died for Dawn because she was in the world. I think, however, that her situation was a little different. The key difference is that Dawn is a part of Buffy, a part she was willing to sacrifice herself for (“The Gift”). By saving Dawn’s life, Spike is in a way saving Buffy twice (perhaps once for each time he lost her). He is giving Buffy the ultimate gift of life, both for herself and for those she cares about.
As any “Buffy” fan knows, Spike didn’t stay dead long. He returned in the final season of Angel. I find it interesting that once Spike regained corporeal form, he didn’t rush off to be with the woman he’s given so much of himself to. Instead he stayed in Los Angeles and fought side by side with the guy he spent a good deal of his past hating (Angel made him a monster) (“Destiny”) to continue saving the world. I’d like to think that Buffy and Spike have a future together some day. But he needs to save the world a few more times before he’s ready to try another shot at love.
Batman and Vader and Vampires, Oh My!: Comic Con Round Up
So, as I may have mentioned in a previous blog post somewhere, Jen (of MTVP) and I attended the New England Comic Con two weekends ago. And, as promised, I’m here to recap it for you. It was three days of wild and wacky fun.
Friday began with me struggling to focus for my morning classes. I don’t think Evidence has ever made me so antsy. I really enjoy the class but I was ready to get the weekend underway and hang with Jen. We did a quick lunch and grocery run before heading to the venue. It was a relatively calm affair for the first day. I went with the intention of only getting Amber and James’s autographs. I walked away at the end of the weekend with everyone’s. We managed to get through the autograph line very quickly on Friday and so I snagged Clare Kramer (Glory), Mercedes McNab (Harmony) and Nick Brendan (Xander) in addition to Amber. As always, Amber was delightful and I miss chatting with her. She remembered me from April and we talked books a little bit. Book 3 in her Caliope Reaper-Jones series comes out in February or March and she’s planning books 4 and 5. I can’t wait. Jen and I also managed to get our photo with Amber. It came out quite well if I do say so myself.
Saturday was a bit crazier. Not only was the convention in full swing but Deval Patrick (our current governor in MA) was having a rally for the election next week and President Obama came by to lend his support. Needless to say, the convention center was barricaded to the hilt with every cop in Boston and loads of Secret Service patrolling the area. Our main focus for Saturday was James’s Q&A. We got to the venue around 8:40 (we were ushered around the building into the cold due to security for the rally) and were first in line. It was a good thing too because there were hundred of people in line behind us to get in. Not everyone did. Our seats could have been better but we could still hear everything. James was sweet and answered everyone’s questions. I’ll admit some were strange (one woman asking him to sing the end duet from Once More with Feeling). He also go very emotional when talking about the attempted rape scene in Seeing Red (Buffy season 6).
After the Q&A I got in line for my photo with James. He was just as much a sweetheart up close as he was in the Q&A. He said I was cute (I felt like I was in the old Claymation version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer). Once my photo was taken, Jen and I got in the obnoxiously long line for James’s autograph. We ended up foregoing his until Sunday because of time constraints. We had autograph tickets for Charisma and she was only there for Saturday. It was a strategic move but it worked. We ended up missing her and Nick’s Q&A panels but that’s okay. From what we heard on the grape vine, they weren’t all that good (lots of people asked Charisma about her hair. I mean…seriously?)
Sunday was a bit more relaxed, much like Friday. We got to the venue early again and got in 9with great seats) for Amber’s Q&A. She showed Chance (a film she did with James and Andy Hallett (Lorne from Angel…RIP) back during filming of Buffy season 5). I’d seen it before (shh don’t tell anyone) but I enjoyed it again. Seeing James in a dress and heels always cracks me up. He’s such a ham. I got to ask Amber some questions about publishing and was rather excited to hear she hates self-editing just as much as I do! I swear we’re like made for each other (in a non-sexual way of course). Afterwards, we headed back to main area to get James’s autograph. He made kind of a disparaging remark about John Barrowman (we knew he was joking because he pretty much professed his giant man-crush on the guy the day before). I also learned that he enjoys reading nonfiction books on science-y subjects. I tried to convince him to do my evidence reading but he declined. So sad. He did sign my photo that I got with him the day before. I’ll be framing both his and Amber’s photos whenever I find a frame shop.
Overall, I really enjoyed the weekend. Jen and I augmented our convention-going with some Doctor Who, Torchwood and Buffy watching. It was only appropriate you know. I’m entirely looking forward to any future conventions in either Boston or Baltimore that include Buffy cast (or Doctor Who…that’d be awesome too).
Friday began with me struggling to focus for my morning classes. I don’t think Evidence has ever made me so antsy. I really enjoy the class but I was ready to get the weekend underway and hang with Jen. We did a quick lunch and grocery run before heading to the venue. It was a relatively calm affair for the first day. I went with the intention of only getting Amber and James’s autographs. I walked away at the end of the weekend with everyone’s. We managed to get through the autograph line very quickly on Friday and so I snagged Clare Kramer (Glory), Mercedes McNab (Harmony) and Nick Brendan (Xander) in addition to Amber. As always, Amber was delightful and I miss chatting with her. She remembered me from April and we talked books a little bit. Book 3 in her Caliope Reaper-Jones series comes out in February or March and she’s planning books 4 and 5. I can’t wait. Jen and I also managed to get our photo with Amber. It came out quite well if I do say so myself.
Saturday was a bit crazier. Not only was the convention in full swing but Deval Patrick (our current governor in MA) was having a rally for the election next week and President Obama came by to lend his support. Needless to say, the convention center was barricaded to the hilt with every cop in Boston and loads of Secret Service patrolling the area. Our main focus for Saturday was James’s Q&A. We got to the venue around 8:40 (we were ushered around the building into the cold due to security for the rally) and were first in line. It was a good thing too because there were hundred of people in line behind us to get in. Not everyone did. Our seats could have been better but we could still hear everything. James was sweet and answered everyone’s questions. I’ll admit some were strange (one woman asking him to sing the end duet from Once More with Feeling). He also go very emotional when talking about the attempted rape scene in Seeing Red (Buffy season 6).
After the Q&A I got in line for my photo with James. He was just as much a sweetheart up close as he was in the Q&A. He said I was cute (I felt like I was in the old Claymation version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer). Once my photo was taken, Jen and I got in the obnoxiously long line for James’s autograph. We ended up foregoing his until Sunday because of time constraints. We had autograph tickets for Charisma and she was only there for Saturday. It was a strategic move but it worked. We ended up missing her and Nick’s Q&A panels but that’s okay. From what we heard on the grape vine, they weren’t all that good (lots of people asked Charisma about her hair. I mean…seriously?)
Sunday was a bit more relaxed, much like Friday. We got to the venue early again and got in 9with great seats) for Amber’s Q&A. She showed Chance (a film she did with James and Andy Hallett (Lorne from Angel…RIP) back during filming of Buffy season 5). I’d seen it before (shh don’t tell anyone) but I enjoyed it again. Seeing James in a dress and heels always cracks me up. He’s such a ham. I got to ask Amber some questions about publishing and was rather excited to hear she hates self-editing just as much as I do! I swear we’re like made for each other (in a non-sexual way of course). Afterwards, we headed back to main area to get James’s autograph. He made kind of a disparaging remark about John Barrowman (we knew he was joking because he pretty much professed his giant man-crush on the guy the day before). I also learned that he enjoys reading nonfiction books on science-y subjects. I tried to convince him to do my evidence reading but he declined. So sad. He did sign my photo that I got with him the day before. I’ll be framing both his and Amber’s photos whenever I find a frame shop.
Overall, I really enjoyed the weekend. Jen and I augmented our convention-going with some Doctor Who, Torchwood and Buffy watching. It was only appropriate you know. I’m entirely looking forward to any future conventions in either Boston or Baltimore that include Buffy cast (or Doctor Who…that’d be awesome too).
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
An easy way to make a difference
So I realized I disappeared for much of September. I apologize but school kind of overtook my life (as school is want to do). I wanted to drop by and spread the word about a really great website.
Free Rice
This site tests various categories of knowledge, from math to english grammar and vocabulary to famous art and georgraphy. For every answer you get correct, 10 grains of rice are donated to feed the hungry around the world. Since 2007, 82.266,339,860 grains (approimately 1,418 tons) of rice have been donated.
It's a simple way to make a difference and I urge you to take a little time and have some fun while doing a good thing.
Free Rice
This site tests various categories of knowledge, from math to english grammar and vocabulary to famous art and georgraphy. For every answer you get correct, 10 grains of rice are donated to feed the hungry around the world. Since 2007, 82.266,339,860 grains (approimately 1,418 tons) of rice have been donated.
It's a simple way to make a difference and I urge you to take a little time and have some fun while doing a good thing.
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